Bubbles

She is as empty
as time
words
bubbles  


She cracks.

And nothing
E X P L O D E S
Into nowhere

The Sad God

He sat in the dirt. He, a useless nobody, wrote trying to put words to misery. He felt like the whole world was eating at his soul and drumming at his ears. His pen flew. Oh, how his pen flew. It flew across the page until it flew from the page, from his hands.

And he screamed a scream of fear and hatred.
He howled. He longed.

And he exploded into motion. He scratched and ripped at all the tiny usless worthless pieces of his life and the accumulation of his anger turned into a gaping dripping instantly festered wound that echoed the vastness of his emptiness.

He couldn't be confined in his box of a room anymore. So he tore down his room and tore down his house and his family and the world and he dissolved into pieces of the universe.

But he was sad, and he still sat in the dirt. So he built a world unlike Earth, to his own taste, with his own hands, where there was no war, no pain, no control, only love and lust and a playground of slaves to worship him and lift him from the dirt.

He wrote in his godly ledger the new bible of this new world created out of the dust he had lived in. But he grew hopeless again and in one word, all of his slaves exploded again into dust and each particle became an individual star.

He was lord of all the stars

But all the stars complained of his rule, and he was tired. So he carved and curved himself and all his dust thoughts into a new earth, with new life: solid and thought out and well. and he slept.  And then he was the dirt for the next sad souls to lie in.

The Chimera Triad

Part One

my chimera is
Impossible but captures
Everything thats there

Part Two

You wish
such a woman could exist.
the thought is elusion.
nothing.
she is Your chimera

Part Three

Unparalleled
Breathing fire
Out of golden kings’ roar
Mob the world
On growing hooves
With serpent tail

Cigarettes

Gabriel Kase, do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god?

            I do

            Go ahead then, I’m Listening.

 It was a miserable night.  The air was thick and humid, and the dust from the 60 gave the air a gritty texture, but everyone seemed like they were having fun anyway. Pretty much everyone at the party was sober, but people were still jumping off the roof into the pool. I wasn’t, but I remember that every time someone jumped, my heart jumped with them.

I sat half inside, half out: on the patio. I was between everything just watching Liam do his thing.

“Oh man, guys! Man, guys! Shit, guys! Jacob’s gonna throw a good one! Guys!” He whistles with his teeth “GO JACOB! Hah!” He laughs, and casually throws his arms around one of the many girls next to him.  He set the scene with the unocupied hand as everyone watches Jacob, a really skinny guy, prepare to do some trick off the roof. I remember Liam was talking quietly and stupid fast.

“Okay guys and girls, Jacob is a freaking beast! Man, the way he scaled the house was slick, man that guy is a twig but he can climb. There he goes! Perfect back flip! The famous Jacob Garsozi everyone!”  Everyone clapped and cheered for Jacob. Liam was so great at pumping everyone up and getting everyone excited about one thing or the other. I had no idea how he did it, but after his narration of Jacob’s flip, he ended up with more girls on his arm then Jacob.  He was always so smooth and confident in every situation. He slid his way over to me.

“Hey Gabe,” he says to me.

“Liam how are you always so.... How do you always get all the attention you want?”

“What are you talking about, man? I don't want attention, I live to please...” He pulled out a cigarette, sticks it in his mouth “gotta light? no?” He lights it himself” All right then... You see, asshole,--”

“Liam come on--”

“What? The cig is fine, come on... Gabe, the key to everything is this: if you give the people what they want they will let you give it to them as long as you want! Ha! But seriously, why do you always just sit in the corner? You afraid of something?”

“No. I just don’t seem to fit in here.”

“Then go inside.”

“They’re all whatever in there. And I don't know anyone.”  And it was true. Inside there were the dancers and grinders, sure, but there were also people that I’ve always been scared of, people with big brains and mouths to match. “And out here, Liam, man you take all the spotlight. It’s like, out here its about being co--”

“Hey,” He poked me in the chest with the cigarette in between his fingers,  “Stop over analyzing, you pathetic wimp. Hey, Gabriel, I gotta go,” He did the drop-step with his cigarette, and gives me a winning smile “Hey man here’s a hint.  Go talk to that girl about her belly button ring, I can tell she’s been DYING to talk about it all night… Just say what you want to, and it will be fine if she’s into you or not. Either way there are many more girls to practice with”

            That was the first time I really started taking his advice, we had been friends as kids, but as things go, we had grown apart. He was… not loud, no not loud, but different. He was cocky, full of swagger, and always had a girlfriend or two.  I had gotten quieter, and jealous. But on that miserable night at the beginning of summer, things were changing. I took his advice, and it worked.
            The girl’s name was Olive, and she was amazing. Her piercing was only a few days old, and she was glad that someone noticed. She was hot but she wasn’t just a girl. She had a strong voice and she got every joke I told, and could follow all my obscure and dorky word plays. It felt natural to be around her.
                        The next party was nicer. It was raining, but it felt far less miserable to me. Everyone was crowded inside the house. Liam was singing and dancing along to Michael Jackson’s Billy Jean.

            “Come on Gabe, get in the party!”

            “You know I can’t dance!”

            “That is bullshit, Gabe, and you know it. Come on! Dance! Dude you can dance better then I can!”

            “Liam!” I was laughing “You know that's not true!”
            “Then come prove it! It’s a dance off! ” Liam swaggered back to the center of the room, put one hand on his hip and burst into mock-song “People always told me be careful what you do, don’t go around breakin’ young girls hearts! -- COME ON, GABE, I know you can dance, don’t be modest!” I ended up laughing and dancing like a fool to much cheering, and in ten minutes I was dancing with girls, and Liam next to me, like we were the hottest things in the world. We couldn’t hear the rain.

            Liam eventually yanked me to a spare bedroom, the sheets on the bed had been disturbed.

“Man, Gabe you really are a swell dancer,” He lit a cigarette, “Man, I’m such a good coach, you went from a nothing, a complete zero to tons of fun, I’m sure the ladies love it.”

“Yeah, actually! I met this girl last week, Olive,  I really like her,  want to take her to lunch tomo--.”

“Why are you wasting your time and money on her?”

“Can you please put that out?”

“No.”  He puffed.

“I like her, I want it to get serious…. what do you mean, man?”

“Nothing, Abe. Whatever. Commitment is for wimps.” I remember he paused to take a drag on his cigarette, “Can I borrow 50 bucks?”

            We started to throw his parties at my place instead. They became less responsible, and I was such a moron for letting him bring the alcohol. I remember when we were arguing about it, he threw his cigarette at me while joking “The turds like you who don’t want to drink just won’t drink it. Whatever. Let me bring more.”

            I went on a lunch date with Olive later in the month. We really hit it off, she was so smart and so funny and she thought I was funny. She was great company at parties…she could say a lot quickly and she wasn’t afraid to be the center of attention, but she was also great company otherwise. She was sweet and thoughtful and extremely sexy. It was really great to have one girl that I could always… I could depend on her. She started hanging out with us more. I suppose I fell in love with her.
            It was a wonderful night out, at my place. The stars were out and shining. Summer was almost over, The Party was going swell, and some awesome music was pumping out of my speakers.  Everyone was dancing, shoving chips into their mouths, and drinking the Vodka Fruit Punch. I was no longer sitting at the edge of the party, and I no longer had to be coaxed into the mix. My place was in the center being witty with Liam.

            Liam and I were dancing and cracking jokes. Everyone at the party roared with every punchline.  Olive was watching me from the couch, her legs crossed, grinning at me. Every once in a while, I grinned back at her. Liam left to go get some water and I sauntered over to her with my new confidence.

“Hey, Gabe”

“Hey, Olive enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah, it’s fun seeing you two have fun” Her words were slurred, I thought she was just drunk.

“Well your smile is the best of all, Olive.”

“Dude you’re so cheezy.”

“You bring out the best in me, Olive.”

“I kind of love you Gabe”

“Now, who’s being cheezy?” We laughed. That was the last time we would ever laugh together.

I headed back towards to the Vodka Punch where Liam was being quieter than normal. Everyone else was being louder than normal. The party seemed very drunk, The room was chaotic. Before I could rejoin Liam, he had lit a cigarette, and was in a girl’s ear whispering her away to a side room. I rolled my eyes and told some stories. Everyone was laughing at my punch lines, but eventually they were just laughing. Laughing… and falling over… and rolling around and jumping. In retrospect, Judge, it was horrible.

Liam came out of the side room, his cigarette still in his mouth.

“It works! Ah, it’s perfect Gabe! ”

“ What works? Liam what are you talking about?”

“The drugs, they work.”

“Liam.... What drugs?” It snapped and I realized why everyone was in chaos. “Liam I’m calling the cops, what drugs?”

“Oh. Gabe…That reminds me” His eyes went hard, and he grabbed me by the arm.  “I have something to show you.”

“Liam... Liam! What are you doing? Did you drug these people? HELP! OLIVE! ” He was bigger and stronger then I was.  He shoved me in the linen closet in the hall, and locked it.  I rammed my shoulder against the door, shouting for help, eventually some girl opened the door looking for somewhere to puke.

I ran out into the hall and the first thing I saw was Liam waving at me with a cigarete in his fingers, pushing Olive into the spare bedroom. The door had been shut by the time I had fought through the senseless crowd. I tried the door, but it was locked, I could hear screaming. and I yelled for a phone.

The house phone was nowhere to be found, and there was no one who was conscious enough to give me their cell. I ran through the living room, through the sleepy drugged bodies out of my house.

It was past midnight, the keys to my car were not in my pockets so I had to run. I needed someone to help me, to get me out of this mess, to wake me up from this nightmare. Half an hour later I got to my aunts house, I was exhausted from my run, tears were streaming down my face as I knocked on the door as loud as I could until I fell asleep.

In the dewy morning I woke up to the sound of a fire truck rushing by towards my street. I was on the doorstep, and all my bones were aching. There was the fuzziness of a lingering bad dream. There was something I had to do... something I couldn’t remember... The door opened. My aunt was in her flowered sleepwear.

“Gabe! Gabriel! What’s the matter?”

“I can’t remember”

“Gabe, come inside. Are you drunk? ALFRED, SHUT THE DOOR, Are you hung-over? Gabe talk to me.”

“I don’t drink”

“well that’s good. Damn, you look exhausted. Let’s have breakfast. What would you like? Eggs?”

“Sure”

“All right, then sit, and I’ll cook some up. I think you will owe me a story after”  I sat there, dumb of what happened until Uncle Alfred turned on the news. And then I heard it. And then I remembered.

There was a fire. My address. At least twenty-two teenagers severely burned. Five teenagers were dead.

I had to go and take care of some legal business with the house, and the police took me into custody and started interrogating me.

            The fire started from a cigarette in the spare room where it spread to the rest of the house. That's what they told me. I know that cigarette was Liam’s. He was … he was doing other things so he didn’t notice it burning until the fire was too big to stop. He ran from the house like the coward he is.  As every single one of his victims burned. As Olive burned.

            And now I’m here, in this courtroom, sitting within ten feet of the only other undrugged bastard that survived the fire unscathed. I swear to god I'm innocent, though I’d kill him if I could. Let me introduce to you my best friend turned murderer: Liam Bass. 

It is my lady,
                   
                    O,
                          it is my love!
                   
                    O,
                        that she knew she were...

Dead Water

Sophie and Darren’s personalities smudged  off their frames when touched. They would run like dogs away from change

They growled at him now from across the room. He sniffed and sighed. 

He knew that soon these conditions would cause him to  fall into an anti-mood, his brain making words blur into nothing he could issue response to. 

He finished the conversation he was maintaining with some anonymous body to go hide in a corner where he wouldn’t be bothered.

Punishment for the Zoe.

Every few months I attempt to restart a blog. I try to put something out into the world in blog format that people may or may not read, adore, print out on their walls and base their lives around. 
But every time I get distracted by all the dumb formatting options. 


"Ooohhh this one's PERDY... I CAN MAKE BLUE! maybe I should go try tumblr it's SUUUPER PERDY, they have Coooolll Theemees"


So, (with all these distractions) I never write anything.  So, after about five long minutes of "Zoe, seriously now." I have effectively de-formated my blog as punishment. Maybe I will end up writing something worth someones time now I'm not spending all my time changing my theme every 30 seconds...


Also, I've decided that I like couplet-y poetry most of all, like William Blake's Tyger Tyger...